His Glory

To The Mom’s Who’ve Gone Before Me

By Michelle Rene Mancha

To the mothers who have gone before me, blazing the “No Appliances For Mother’s Day” Trail, I thank you, sort of. For Mothers’ day this year, my husband presented me with a top of the line, state of the art, wireless headset to use with my cell phone. A huge step away from the traditional washer/dryer set, which I actually need, this luxury ear device is going to require a lot of love and attention. Lest ye think me unappreciative, let me provide some context. This is the fourth, hearing device we have purchased since I got this phone a little over 2 years ago (did she say she has had the same phone for over 2 years?!?). Actually, the phone will be 3 in July. This does not include the headset that actually came with the phone. I lost that years ago. I also lost a really nice Bluetooth that my husband bought for himself, and later gave to me.

Recently, I wore out a wired headset (in less than 6 months). I have managed to keep up with a Bluetooth he purchased a year or so ago, but it doesn’t work well with my phone. My friends constantly complain they can hear themselves echo when they talk to me. That said, I have this new super-duper, hi-tech ear piece that really is comfortable to wear and sounds GREAT. I can’t help but feel pressure to take good care of it and extend its life as long as possible.

I promise to do my best, to keep it charged and free from dust. I will remember to store it somewhere safe, away from my toddler’s imaginative fingers. I will cherish this as a thoughtful, non-appliance gesture from my husband and use it with pride. Now, if I can just figure out which button to push to answer calls.

Ten Whole Days On The Earth...

Upon request from my wife to post a non screaming image of our new son James, here you go...the one with the hat is James.

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The Thing I Feared Has Come Upon Me

“For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.” Job 3:25

My fifth child was due on January 19th of this year. My previous childbirth experiences have ranged in length from several hours of labor to just 20 minutes. It is for this reason that I was extremely concerned about being close enough to the hospital to get there in time. I did not want to go into labor on the train commuting to or from work. For weeks I had been telling friends and co-workers that I needed to stay close to home, which is less than 10 minutes from the hospital because when labor starts, “I go quickly.”

One day, when the house was quiet, I thought about what I had been saying. So much of what we have in life is the result of what we have been saying and what we are expecting. It dawned on me, that what I had been saying was not actually what I was interested in having. I wouldn’t mind a quick labor, but I really didn’t want to be in a situation where I couldn’t get to the hospital in time. All of my words and thoughts had been moving in the direction of not being able to make it, or at a minimum cutting it close. Once I realized this, I had to start working on undoing, or unsaying, what I had been saying.

On January 12th, I went to pick up two of my children from school at 3:30 pm. I had a contraction that caused me to have to sit down and be still. Once it passed, I felt fine. I took the children with me to the store for some diapers for my fourth child who needed a new pack for preschool the next day. I had another immobilizing contraction at about 4:15 pm. Now, I still wasn’t sure if this was “it” but I decided to head home. I got on the freeway, and before I made it to the first exit, I had another contraction that was so intense I had to pull the car over to the shoulder until it passed. I had one more stop to make, a store around the corner from my house to pay a bill. I ran in, paid the bill and had one more contraction. I rushed home, went to the bathroom and told my husband to get dressed we were going to the hospital. The contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart and it was not quite 5:00 o’clock. In the car, taking the 7 minute trip to the hospital, I knew it was time, but I wasn’t at all sure we were going to make it. I was ready to start pushing.

I made it to the hospital, and yes, I was ready to deliver. Unfortunately, my dear sweet son, wasn’t ready to come out. We had to wait about an hour and half, but he finally arrived, happy and healthy and we were most grateful.

Upon reflection, I realized the problem snuck up on me. I did not properly identify the progression from concern to full blown fear. It was subtle and had been developing quietly over time. If we are not careful, and if we do not guard are hearts and thoughts we will find ourselves operating in fear (or because of fear). Fear gives us the very results we are trying to avoid. A simple thought, “What if I go into labor on the train,” repeated over time, becomes a concern. A concern, allowed to linger, or rehearsed to others without a faith-filled response, graduates into worry. Worry, left unchecked, gives birth to fear. Fear will hide out quietly, spreading rapidly, like mold and before you know it, you are knee deep in the very situation you were hoping to avoid.

You have to be honest with yourself. Check and see if you are fearful about certain situations in your life. If you find out that a thought of yours became a concern. And that concern, graduated into worry, and worry gave birth to fear, do not be alarmed. Open your Bible and find where Jesus covered this issue during his life and ministry. This will give you assurance that no weapon, situation or circumstance that faces you will be able to stand against the Word of God. Fear will have to leave.

Fear, is powerless when you use the Word of God to attack it.

Tags: faith, fear, child birth

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Robert James Mancha Say Hello To The World

Psa 127:1-5 GNB
(1)  If the LORD does not build the house, the work of the builders is useless; if the LORD does not protect the city, it does no good for the sentries to stand guard.
(2)  It is useless to work so hard for a living, getting up early and going to bed late. For the LORD provides for those he loves, while they are asleep.
(3)  Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a real blessing.
(4)  The sons a man has when he is young are like arrows in a soldier's hand.
(5)  Happy is the man who has many such arrows. He will never be defeated when he meets his enemies in the place of judgment.

Happy New Year!

photo by valentin.d

 

May this be your most prosperous year ever!

Sex at the Dinner Table

photo by dave kellam

What better place to talk about sex than at the dinner table.  We have a rule in our home about not talking on the phone during family meals.  I am so glad that we live like that.  My 9 year old son understands that meals are a time for us to come together as a family and talk about how we are doing and what is going on in our lives.  So last night, he asked me a question about sex.  Did I panic? Not on the outside.  I kept an even tone in my voice and asked questions about his questions to make sure I was giving him enough, but not too much information.  By keeping relaxed I helped reinforce that we can talk about anything.  That is what family meals are all about.

The Truth About Marriage and Cars

photo by kevin n. murphy

You want to get married someday? Great. Now all you need is a man, right? Wrong. You need more than a man, a ring and a wedding. It takes more than a deep voice to make a man. It takes more than a ring to make a marriage. And it takes more than a wedding to create a beautiful lifetime. You don’t need a man, you need the right man. And he is worth the wait.

Having a substitute instead of what you really want can be devastating. When my husband and I were looking for our first car, I wanted to buy something that we could easily afford, he wanted to buy a car he liked. We went shopping and I found the perfect family car for a very good price. When we went for the test drive, the car would not start. When we finally got going, it had no pick-up and did not handle well. After the drive, he and I talked about it and agreed that we did not want that car. A few months later, we went shopping again and there it was, the car my husband wanted. To make a long story short, it was a great car, at a good price and we were both satisfied with the purchase. Sometimes I think back to the car we almost bought. It looked nice on the outside, and it was a good price. I almost overlooked the warning signs and bought a piece of junk. There were probably other things wrong that I didn’t know about. The money we would have spent on repairs would have made the low cost of the car insignificant.

A car is a major purchase for most people, and its selection should be conducted with care. Selecting a mate is even more serious. If you make a mistake, you can not send your mate back to the dealer or make a trade for new model. In the case of a mate, a substitute is even more dangerous because you become involved in the deception of your heart. When you lie to yourself and ignore your heart, or try to convince your heart that this is the man you have always been waiting for, and later realize that you made a mistake, you can no longer trust your heart. It takes a lot of healing to return your heart to a trustworthy condition.

The good news is that you do not have to worry about selecting the wrong mate or rushing off to marry a substitute. Not because it can not happen to you, but because you are opening your ears for understanding and instruction. You are seeking wisdom from the Word of God (the Bible) and the pages of this book. Proverbs 4:7 says, “Wisdom [is] the principal thing; [therefore] get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” That is what you are doing. You are seeking to get wisdom and you will be pleased with the results if you follow the Word of God in the area of dating and marriage.

Homework is for Parents

You may have heard the saying, “You need a license to own a dog, but anyone can be a parent.”  Well, I have uncovered the back door to the parenting qualification process.  It is called HOMEWORK.  As a veteran mom, it has long since been my opinion that homework is not just an opportunity for the children to practice their newly learned skills.  It is, in fact, a test for parents.  How smart are you?  How organized are you?  How do you handle your finances?

Let’s take my kindergartener for example.  He receives a packet from school on Monday that is due back at school on Friday morning.  He is not allowed to keep it in his backpack.  He is not allowed to turn it in early.  Even though my son can do the entire packet in less than an hour, he is expected to do one page a night.  This is where the parenting comes in.  I am responsible for setting up time each night for him to do his homework and remember on Thursday night, once he is done with it, that the homework needs to go in his folder in the backpack.  If I forget to do all of these things, he gets in trouble for not doing his homework and turning it in.  Secretly though, the teacher is keeping tabs and giving me an “F” on my parenting.  After all, what kind of parent can’t remember to put homework in the folder on Thursday night?  The kind who allows her child to do all of his work on Monday night when the packet comes home.

What about those math problems that the teacher explained, that my 9-year-old didn’t understand.  Well, they are due tomorrow and if I don’t figure out a way to teach him how to do something that I learned 30 years ago, then we both get in trouble.  He wasn’t paying attention and mommy doesn’t know how to teach beginning algebra to a third grader.  Another “F”.

I don’t know where these grades get reported, but I am quite sure someone, somewhere is keeping track.

What To Do When You Can't See Your Destiny

The year is not over yet and you still can walk in Gods best!

Wedding Reflections

photo by lockergnome

By M. Rene Mancha

I went to a wedding last night.  One of my former co-workers finally did it.  We had been trying to marry him off for years (he's 41).  He is truly one of the sweetest, kindest, most gentle people I know, plus he has a fabulous sense of humor. I had the pleasure of meeting two of his former girlfriends and one of his "whatever's" and the one he married was different from them all, but clearly a good fit for him. I am so happy for them both and I can't help feeling a little like a mother who has watched her son take one of the most serious, yet rewarding steps in his life.

Something about weddings always makes me pause and reflect.  My wedding wasn't video taped so I can not say for sure which specific vows I agreed to that day more than 14 years ago, but I will say that weddings always help me renew my commitment to my husband. This is particularly interesting as he did not accompany me last night. He isn't into social gatherings and unlike my sister and I, he was not raised with that unhealthy sense of obligation (you know the whole do what you are supposed to do, whether you want to or not, because it is the polite thing to do). Well, part of our relationship that is really working for us now is that acceptance of each other. He doesn't want to make small talk with people he doesn't know and will likely never see again, and I can barely resist and opportunity to dress up and eat good food. So, we each allow the other room to be ourselves. Do you have any idea how many fights are avoided because neither of us insists on our own way? I! wish I would have figured that out sooner.

 

photo by gentil garcon

I was seated at a table with former co-workers and two couples, both of whom were expecting their second child.  So there we were, three pregnant moms sharing stories and dispensing advice. One of the dads-to-be-again, prepared his wife's plate from the buffet line so she wouldn't have to get up.  It was so sweet to watch the tenderness with which he attended to her throughout the evening.  The other husband wasn't the least bit condemned as he and his wife waited for the lines to shorten so they could go together. One of my former co-workers brought his wife.  They just celebrated 46 years of marriage.  She's Puerto Rican and he's Italian, a bonafide West Side Story. They were kind enough to dance together for me when the DJ played "At Last" by Etta James (one of my favorite songs to dance to with my husband). In all three couples, it was wonderful to see that each of them were comfortable with their relationships the way they were.

 

As I sat, with an empty chair next to me, I was able to do so with a bit of satisfaction knowing that I had not forced my husband to come somewhere with me. Don't get me wrong, if he would have come that would have been great, but I have gained some insight from a minister I really respect that I would like to share. It is not that we want people to do what we want them to do, we want them to **want**  to. Do you get the difference?  A person can do something because you want them to, but their heart isn't in it. It is a far better gift for someone to do something that blesses you because they want to do it. Which brings me to my last point.

photo by dsevilla

Before I left for the wedding, my husband presented me with a new roller briefcase to carry my laptop and papers to work. Three things are true about this scenario: 1) I would have never paid that kind of money for a bag; 2) he gets pleasure from giving me gifts; 3) I needed it. This immediately reminded me of our second date. He took me to Royal Oak, Michigan where he shared with me some of his most favorite places to go, including an art gallery, an army/navy store and some other shops. In one of the stores he asked me if I wanted anything, and I really didn't want or need anything, but I could tell he wanted to get me something, so I made a selection. At that moment I realized, he would have bought me anything in the store as long as he had the money for it. What generosity, what love, and he is still the same today.

 

To my married friends, I want to encourage you to love your spouse for who they are and give them room to be themselves.  When they know that they can safely be themselves with you, you will get more from them and more of them. To my friends who are not married, I want to remind you that you do not have to compromise who you are to get someone you deserve.  You have to be you and they need to like the real you, because 46 years later, you want to still be married and willing to tear up the dance floor with passion!